Misconception

It's now 2012. I have lived for 21 good years (by overall standards, at least I have a shelter, I have food and still living). I know many people but I have only a handful of friends whom I really feel comfortable with and are able to open up to. Yeah, that is me all right. I can name all friends whom I really feel comfortable to talk to and they are less than my age.

Yet, I cannot stand people simply making assumptions about who I am. I don't care about you or what you think of me, because by judging me it does not tell who I am, but rather, who are you. But the thing is, even those whom you have known for long still have misconceptions about you just make you feel...misunderstood? LOL. Can't think of any better words to put it in for now so bear with it.

I am friendly, but do not socialize like what. It's usually people who come to me and start talking to me. I do not simply approach strangers and strike a conversation. I probably did back then when I was much younger before I thought that was something only an idiotic fool will do. I am not like that today. I will only start making friends if the other person was friendly to me.

People who usually caught me lightening up the atmosphere by being the loudest among the crowd and doing some entertaining silly gestures usually misunderstand me as some sort of class clown. I only make a fool out of myself with a crowd where all or most of my close friends are with me. But when I am around people whom I do not really feel comfortable with, I do not open up. Instead I just listen to their tales without sharing my own. To me, I think why bother opening up if the other people are more interested in sharing theirs? Let them be the limelight. I only open up if people ask me. So I am NOT that easy after all, huh?

I am friendly and nice to everyone, but I pick who to be comfortable with. If there is no chemistry between me and the people, why bother trying? I pick my friends. Not by status, or academic results, or by wealth, or by looks, but by this "chemistry" thing. So, if I talk non-stop to you or start making a fool out of myself in front of you, congrats. Otherwise, I would just smile there and be silent.

By the way, this somehow reminded me of my early university days where people misunderstood me as someone unfriendly and fierce because I was so quiet back then and did not smile. Well, to bring the truth to light, I do not smile for nothing unless I am happy. Otherwise, I would just put this stoic poker face which look "sour", according to my mom and my close friends =="" And my Mandarin was rather bad back then so I did not dare to talk much. But not today. HAH!!! My Mandarin improved much more compared to last time HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Anyways, Happy New Year =D